You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
