You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
