...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
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