It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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