Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize