even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
