im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
