is your mom at the bar?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i think i have herpe
just one?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
