Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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