you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
