what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
