Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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