I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
