No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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