Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
