there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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