the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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