An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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