piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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