you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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