i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
