Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
