He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
