I hope mine doesn't look like that
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
