Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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