Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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