I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
