i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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