He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
