Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
