we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
