One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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