new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
