Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
