Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
