Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I intend to get homeless drunk
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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