I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
