shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
