At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
