I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize