so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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