I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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