i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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