Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
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Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
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The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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