Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
