This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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