what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
