And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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