shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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