Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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