Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
