were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
