Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
