somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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