Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
