Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
