What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
